NOTES TAKEN
- Priest chants mantras - which are spiritual or sacred syllables which contain divine power
- Brides mother blesses groom with rice and applies tilak of vermillion and turmeric
- Tilak isa vertical mark placed on the top of the forehead of a devotee of a ritual worship
- Sacred fire is to make the atmosphere pure and spiritual
- Bride leads the laps around the fire, seven times. It is custom but also in effect legalises the marriage according to the Hindu Marriage Act
- Different areas of India, such as Southern and Northern have slightly different marriage ceremonies, similar to how Catholics and Orthodox Christians have slightly different marriage ceremonies
- Couple make food offerings to fire and feed each other a morsel of food to express mutual love and affection
- Pre-wedding events are interesting, especially mehndi ki raat, where they apply henna to the bride
- The exit of the bride and groom is much more sombre in South Asian culture with lots of tears and hugging of the bride as the groom takes her away
- Brides family tend to push the wedding car as it moves off to symbolise helping the couple on their way
While various regional steps are followed by different sects of Hindus across India, the following 13 steps form the core of a Vedic wedding ceremony:
- Vara Satkaarah - Reception of the bridegroom and his kinsmen at the entrance gate of the wedding hall where the officiating priest chants a few mantras and the bride's mother blesses the groom with rice and trefoil and applies tilak of vermilion and turmeric powder.
- Madhuparka Ceremony - Reception of the bridegroom at the altar and bestowing of presents by the bride's father.
- Kanya Dan - The bride's father gives away his daughter to the groom amidst the chanting of sacred mantras.
- Vivah-Homa - The sacred fire ceremony ascertaining that all auspicious undertakings are begun in an atmosphere of purity and spirituality.
- Pani-Grahan - The groom takes the right hand of the bride in his left hand and accepts her as his lawfully wedded wife.
- Pratigna-Karan - The couple walk round the fire, the bride leading, and take solemn vows of loyalty, steadfast love and life-long fidelity to each other.
- Shila Arohan - The mother of the bride assists her to step onto a stone slab and counsels her to prepare herself for a new life.
- Laja-Homah - Puffed rice offered as oblations into the sacred fire by the bride while keeping the palms of her hands over those of the groom.
- Parikrama or Pradakshina or Mangal Fera - The couple circles the sacred fire seven times. This aspect of the ceremony legalizes the marriage according to the Hindu Marriage Act as well custom.
- Saptapadi - Marriage knot symbolized by tying one end of the groom's scarf with the bride's dress. Then they take seven steps representing nourishment, strength, prosperity, happiness, progeny, long life and harmony and understanding, respectively.
- Abhishek - Sprinkling of water, meditating on the sun and the pole star.
- Anna Praashan - The couple make food offerings into the fire then feed a morsel of food to each other expressing mutual love and affection.
- Aashirvadah - Benediction by the elders.
Also found more in depth information on 'Jenny and Vipuls' diary-like website on their engagement and wedding, which you can see here
As is the case with Christianity, Hinduism is not a monolithic religion. Instead, there are lots of different practices and teachings that get labeled with the name. Weddings reflect these differences. Moreover, differences due to region and even family tradition (and not just differences due to religion) will find expression in a wedding.
Vipul's family is from Gujarat, a state in northern India, and a Gujarati wedding will differ from a Bengali wedding, and both will differ even more from a Malayali wedding, since South Indians have cultures and languages that are significantly distinct from North Indians'.
Following, you will find some of the major elements of some Gujarati weddings, most of which I found at iloveindia.com's pages on weddings. Their descriptions are offered here nearly verbatim, with the exception of the description for the mehndi party, sangeet/raas-garba, and baraat. Vipul and I are still working with the priest so we may need to modify some of these things, but we'll try to let you know here what you probably won't see or what we will alter for our wedding.
Mehndi ki RatThe mehndi party is often held on a night preceding the wedding, and on this night, the bride's hands and feet are painted with designs in henna. Traditionally, the night's attendees are the bride, her family, and her friends. These guests are also likely to have their hands or feet or both hennaed. (Many interesting mehndi traditions can be read of and learned here.) In recent years, the mehndi party has grown to include the groom's family and friends, and is sometimes just as large an event as the wedding ceremony and reception are. So that I can have some private and quiet time, I will be invoking a version of the traditional mehndi ki rat, with only my immediate family members and grandparents in attendance.
Mandap Mahurat Ceremony
Mandap Mahurat ceremony is performed by the families of bride and groom in their respective houses. Prayers are offered to Lord Ganesha, who is believed to remove all obstacles. A puja is done by an acharya or priest to seek the blessings of God for the to-be wedded couple. Usually, this ceremony is carried out a couple of days before the wedding.
Griha Shanti Puja
After having matched the horoscopes of the prospective bride and groom, a puja or prayer is held. It is called Griha Shanti puja, which is done by the priest. A Mahurat or auspicious time is chosen for the conduct of the prayer. All the family members and relatives participate in this auspicious ritual. It is an important puja, which is performed at the bride as well as groom's house.
Mandap Mahurat ceremony is performed by the families of bride and groom in their respective houses. Prayers are offered to Lord Ganesha, who is believed to remove all obstacles. A puja is done by an acharya or priest to seek the blessings of God for the to-be wedded couple. Usually, this ceremony is carried out a couple of days before the wedding.
Griha Shanti Puja
After having matched the horoscopes of the prospective bride and groom, a puja or prayer is held. It is called Griha Shanti puja, which is done by the priest. A Mahurat or auspicious time is chosen for the conduct of the prayer. All the family members and relatives participate in this auspicious ritual. It is an important puja, which is performed at the bride as well as groom's house.
Usually the Mandap Mahurat and Griha Shanti Pujas are performed at the groom's house for the groom and at the bride's house for the bride. Instead, Vipul and I will be doing a joint ceremony and puja at the temple. This will be a very small, private ceremony the day before the wedding with only Vipul's and my immediate family members and grandparents in attendance. We look forward to celebrating with everyone the following day at our wedding!
Sangeet/Raas-GarbaThe sangeet is a night of song and dance, which the bride's family performs for the groom and the bride. From what I've yet learned, it's typical for a Gujarati sangeet to involve Raas-Garba. These are two different dances, which have had some influence on each other. Both dances are religious in nature and are performed at the Navratri festival.
Raas, or Daandiya-Raas, is a dance that feels almost martial, as you knock your stick or sticks (daandiya) against a partner's sticks, and then switch partners, moving round and round, often coming back to the original partner. In Garba, a dance traditionally performed more by women, the dancers move in concentric circles around a central lamp or image of Amba Ma.
In both dances, the music continues without rest for quite a while, and dancers come and go. Throughout the dance, the music gradually speeds up, and dancers move more and more quickly until the movement is seemingly frenetic. Because both dances require both concentration and repetition, they promote a sort of meditative focus. And they're really fun!
Vipul and I are afraid that we will not be having sangeet or raas-garba.
Var Swagatam/Baraat
The baraat is the groom and his entourage, and traditionally, the groom would travel from his town to the bride's riding a horse or an elephant. When he and his entourage arrive in the bride's town, there's a bunch of hoopla - singing and dancing and what-have-you.
The baraat is the groom and his entourage, and traditionally, the groom would travel from his town to the bride's riding a horse or an elephant. When he and his entourage arrive in the bride's town, there's a bunch of hoopla - singing and dancing and what-have-you.
Vipul won't be riding a horse or an elephant. We really, really wanted to find an autorickshaw but found absolutely no leads on anything local. Our next bet was a Vespa with sidecar, but we don't want to get ourselves too dirty. So we have another idea, but hesitate to put it into words yet, as we're not sure if it'll work out.
Jaan Gujarati Wedding Ritual/Pokhvanu
Jaan Gujarati wedding ritual is performed to ward off the evil eye. It is an interesting ritual, in which the groom arrives at the bride's house, where he is given a warm welcome. The groom bows his head to seek his mother-in-law's blessings. While, he does so, the bride's mother tries to clutch his nose. But the boy tries his level best to avoid it.
Jaan Gujarati wedding ritual is performed to ward off the evil eye. It is an interesting ritual, in which the groom arrives at the bride's house, where he is given a warm welcome. The groom bows his head to seek his mother-in-law's blessings. While, he does so, the bride's mother tries to clutch his nose. But the boy tries his level best to avoid it.
When the bride walks up an aisle to the groom, her maternal uncle usually is the one who escorts her. Vipul and I hope that we'll be able to give a nod to more western traditions by having my father walk me down the aisle.
WEDDING EVENTSOne thing that may unsettle guests who've never before attended a wedding like this is that those in attendance might chat lightly or laugh or leave briefly only to return shortly thereafter, babies may cry unchecked, or guests may engage in other behaviors that would be considered disruptive in many western ceremonies. So if you've never been to such a wedding as this before, try not to be disturbed by these things.
Jaimala
Jaimala involves the exchange of garlands between the bride and the groom twice. First time, the groom is on a higher platform than the bride, while, the second time, they are at an equal level.
Jaimala involves the exchange of garlands between the bride and the groom twice. First time, the groom is on a higher platform than the bride, while, the second time, they are at an equal level.
Madhuparka
In the Madhuparka ceremony, groom's feet are washed. Also, he is given honey and milk to drink. While this ceremony is going on, the bride's sisters try to steal the groom's shoes, known as "Juta Churai."
Kanya Daan
One of the most important wedding rituals is kanya daan. It is a ceremony, in which the bride's father washes the groom's feet and gives his daughter's hand to him in the hope that he will take good care of her. The bride is considered to be a form of Goddess Laxmi and the bridegroom is considered to be Lord Narayana. Kanya daan is performed in front of the sacred fire, facilitating the pious union of the boy and girl.
In the Madhuparka ceremony, groom's feet are washed. Also, he is given honey and milk to drink. While this ceremony is going on, the bride's sisters try to steal the groom's shoes, known as "Juta Churai."
Kanya Daan
One of the most important wedding rituals is kanya daan. It is a ceremony, in which the bride's father washes the groom's feet and gives his daughter's hand to him in the hope that he will take good care of her. The bride is considered to be a form of Goddess Laxmi and the bridegroom is considered to be Lord Narayana. Kanya daan is performed in front of the sacred fire, facilitating the pious union of the boy and girl.
Hasta Milap
Hasta milap ceremony has a lot of significance. It involves the tying of the groom's scarf or shawl to the bride's sari. The tying of knot and the joined hands of the couple are symbolic of the meeting of two hearts and souls. The acharya or the priest chants mantras and seeks the blessings of Goddess Laxmi and Parvatiji for the couple. The family and relatives witness the conduct of the ceremony and come forward to bless the bride and groom. They sprinkle rose petals and rice grains on them.
Mangalpheras
Pheras are rounds that the couple takes around the sacred fire, as the priest chants mantras. It also involves the reciting of mantras by the groom that expresses his genuine and heartiest desire to seek his wife's loving support. In Gujarati marriage, there are four mangal pheras, which represent "dharma" (roughly, "duty"), "kama" (or "work"), "artha" ("health and comfort"), and "moksha" (eternal spiritual union).
Hasta milap ceremony has a lot of significance. It involves the tying of the groom's scarf or shawl to the bride's sari. The tying of knot and the joined hands of the couple are symbolic of the meeting of two hearts and souls. The acharya or the priest chants mantras and seeks the blessings of Goddess Laxmi and Parvatiji for the couple. The family and relatives witness the conduct of the ceremony and come forward to bless the bride and groom. They sprinkle rose petals and rice grains on them.
Mangalpheras
Pheras are rounds that the couple takes around the sacred fire, as the priest chants mantras. It also involves the reciting of mantras by the groom that expresses his genuine and heartiest desire to seek his wife's loving support. In Gujarati marriage, there are four mangal pheras, which represent "dharma" (roughly, "duty"), "kama" (or "work"), "artha" ("health and comfort"), and "moksha" (eternal spiritual union).
SaptapadiSaptapadi are the seven steps that the wedded couple walks together and takes seven vows. Thereafter, the couple seeks the blessings of their parents and other elders.
POST-WEDDING EVENTS
Reception
Please review our pages on the reception for more information.
Please review our pages on the reception for more information.
Vadhai
The vadhai ritual marks the end of the marriage ceremony. It is a very emotional episode for the bride's family members, friends and relatives as she leaves her parents home and goes to her husband's home to start a new life with new dreams and hopes. It is a new beginning for her as she bids farewell to her parents and goes to build a new life with her husband and his family. She leaves her parent's home with tears of joy and sorrow. The bride's father gives her hand to her husband and tells him to take care and protect her loving daughter.
The ritual of vidaai is marked as one of the most emotional aspect of the wedding festivities. It is the formal departure of the bride from her parents' home. The fun side of the ritual is that the saalis or sister in-laws are gifted with a kalichari, which is a gold or silver ring or sometime cash money for returning the groom's shoes, which were hidden by the sister-in-laws after the marriage ceremony as a joke. As she leaves her house she embraces her friends and family members. As she steps out of the door she throws back five handfuls of rice over her head as a symbol of prosperity and wealth. This custom signifies that she is paying back or retuning whatever her parents have given her in all these years of her stay with them and that may the prosperity flourish in the house she is leaving behind.
When the car starts, the brides brothers and cousins pushes the car a little signifying that they have given her a push ahead as she starts her new life with her husband. After the last car starts, money is thrown on the road to discard the evil. Mostly younger brother or sister accompanies her to her new home to give her moral support. In North India this ceremony is called Vidhai and in South India it is known as Kshemadandulu.
The vadhai ritual marks the end of the marriage ceremony. It is a very emotional episode for the bride's family members, friends and relatives as she leaves her parents home and goes to her husband's home to start a new life with new dreams and hopes. It is a new beginning for her as she bids farewell to her parents and goes to build a new life with her husband and his family. She leaves her parent's home with tears of joy and sorrow. The bride's father gives her hand to her husband and tells him to take care and protect her loving daughter.
The ritual of vidaai is marked as one of the most emotional aspect of the wedding festivities. It is the formal departure of the bride from her parents' home. The fun side of the ritual is that the saalis or sister in-laws are gifted with a kalichari, which is a gold or silver ring or sometime cash money for returning the groom's shoes, which were hidden by the sister-in-laws after the marriage ceremony as a joke. As she leaves her house she embraces her friends and family members. As she steps out of the door she throws back five handfuls of rice over her head as a symbol of prosperity and wealth. This custom signifies that she is paying back or retuning whatever her parents have given her in all these years of her stay with them and that may the prosperity flourish in the house she is leaving behind.
When the car starts, the brides brothers and cousins pushes the car a little signifying that they have given her a push ahead as she starts her new life with her husband. After the last car starts, money is thrown on the road to discard the evil. Mostly younger brother or sister accompanies her to her new home to give her moral support. In North India this ceremony is called Vidhai and in South India it is known as Kshemadandulu.
This ceremony is, as I've heard, also called the crying ceremony. Vipul and I don't plan to have this be part of our wedding.
Ghar Ni Laxmi
The bride is considered to be Ghar Ni Laxmi, a form of Goddess Laxmi, who brings wealth and good luck. At the entrance of the house, a vessel filled with rice is placed. The bride is asked to knock down the vessel with her right foot, spilling some rice.
The bride is considered to be Ghar Ni Laxmi, a form of Goddess Laxmi, who brings wealth and good luck. At the entrance of the house, a vessel filled with rice is placed. The bride is asked to knock down the vessel with her right foot, spilling some rice.
Aeki Beki
Thereafter, the bride and groom are seated and arrangements are made for the playing of Aeki Beki. To play this game, a vessel is filled with water, which is colored, by putting sindoor and milk in it. After that, a ring and several coins are put into it. The bride and groom are then asked to find the ring. Whoever finds the ring four out of seven times, will rule the household.
Thereafter, the bride and groom are seated and arrangements are made for the playing of Aeki Beki. To play this game, a vessel is filled with water, which is colored, by putting sindoor and milk in it. After that, a ring and several coins are put into it. The bride and groom are then asked to find the ring. Whoever finds the ring four out of seven times, will rule the household.
Here are some videos that illustrate the ritual.
Interesting point is the seven circles of the sacred fire with the tying of the grooms scarf with the brides dress to symbolise a bond. Try and find more information about this.
Who started the tradition of the elephant being the transport of choice for the groom?
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