MUSLIM PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

Here is some helpful information I found and the general notes taken from it, along with further points of enquiry. I'm hoping all this research into various things will help interesting facts arise which I can compile into '100 facts'.


NOTES TAKEN

• PRE-WEDDINGS seem to pretty lavish and extravagant in Asian/Muslim/Hindu culture with both having a 'Mehndi' soon before the wedding day, something I'll look into more.
• Both have brides traditionally dress in red, whys this?
• The groom says "qabool hai" or something similar three times, which acts as the action that binds the marriage, along with the papers they sign on the wedding day, similar to "I do" or the 7 laps around the sacred fire in Hinduism
• Food plays a big part, the men and women are frequently segregated, until the bride and groom meet.
• The wedding day is the brides family responsibility, the groom arrives to the event with the "baraat", the grooms close family and gets married and basically takes off with the Bride
• A day or a few days after there is a "Walima" which is a lavish event, celebrating the marriage with food, music, etc, took on by the grooms family after marriage and is usually more laid back than the wedding day as the bride and groom are now married.
• When it's the nikkah stage, the bride and groom are in seperate rooms, each individual has usually 2 witnesses (gawah's) as they sign the papers and accept the marraige (Qabool hai) after this, the groom enters the centre stage and unites with the Groom. No kissing or anything like that, frowned upon. Very similar culture to Indian culture.
• A muslim marriage in the UK, isn't legally binding even if it's done in a mosque or a venue, still need to go to the registry office and sign the papers as you normally would do, regardless of religion
• it is important to realise that the 'wedding' means different things too. For many Muslims, it is the Islamic ceremony t
  hat counts as the actual wedding, and not the confirmation of that wedding in a registry office
• Oddly enough, although mosques are obviously places of worship, the majority of them in the UK have not yet been officially registered as such, and so any Islamic wedding that merely takes place at a mosque has to be registered legally with the UK law as well, in order to be seen as valid in the UK.
• Marriages have to be declared publicly, cannot be secret.
• Henna is traditionally applied, as is gold jewellery with a red 'lengha'

Source

Source for the following

Mahr and the ceremony

Arranged marriage

A Muslim husband has to agree a financial deal with the prospective wife before marriage.

Muslim marriages are frequently arranged by the parents of the young people. This is not an Islamic necessity, but parents are encouraged to do their best to see their offspring settled with good life-partners. Although divorce is allowed, the ideal is to settle down with a life-partner, and of all the things God does permit, divorce is said to be the thing He likes least.

Most young Muslims live sheltered lives, and are not encouraged to mix freely with the opposite sex - and consequently are protected from the business of 'falling in love', which can lead to all sorts of heartaches, clouded judgement, unsuitable relationships, and tragic consequences.

It is forbidden in Islam for parents (or others) to force, coerce, or trick youngsters into marriage. Unfortunately, there have been cases in the UK where this has happened amongst Muslims, Hindus and Sikhs from the Indian subcontinent - but publicity and education in Islam is improving the situation rapidly. Although many marriages are arranged, it has to be with the willing consent of the couple involved, and they should be able to reject possible suitors without embarrassment.

A Muslim girl (and boy) is expected to be a virgin at the time of the first marriage. Obviously, this would not be the case for a subsequent marriage.

Mahr

A Muslim husband has to agree a financial deal with the prospective wife before marriage. This money present is known as the mahr, and is a payment made to the bride which is hers to keep and use as she wishes. The reason is that even if the girl has nothing, she becomes a bride with property of her own. If the bride later seeks a divorce which the husband does not wish for, she is allowed to return him the money and seek what is known as a khul divorce. Normally, if a divorce takes place for the usual reasons, the bride would be entitled to keep the mahr.

Sometimes a bride (or her family) demands an enormous mahr. The Prophet (pbuh) set the example of modest sums, and many Muslim women generously use their money to support their husbands and families in some way, although they are not obliged to do so.

If a woman has money of her own, she is not obliged to spend it on her husband or family, but a Muslim husband has the obligation to be able to keep and support his wife and children himself, at his own expense. If a wife goes out to work, or donates money, this is to her credit and is regarded as an act of charity (sadaqah).

The ceremony

The actual Muslim wedding is known as a nikah. It is a simple ceremony, at which the bride does not have to be present so long as she sends two witnesses to the drawn-up agreement. Normally, the ceremony consists of reading from the Qur'an, and the exchange of vows in front of witnesses for both partners. No special religious official is necessary, but often the Imam is present and performs the ceremony. He may give a short sermon.

There are certain things which are basic to all Muslim marriages. Marriages have to be declared publicly. They should never be undertaken in secret. The publicity is usually achieved by having a large feast, or walimah - a party specifically for the purpose of announcing publicly that the couple are married and entitled to each other.

Many wedding customs are a matter of culture and not of Islam. The bride and groom may be obliged to sit on 'thrones' on a platform, to be seen by the guests. They may receive gifts, or gifts of money.

The majority of brides favour a traditional white wedding dress, but brides from the Asian subcontinent often favour a shalwar-qameez outfit in scarlet with gold thread, and have their hands and feet patterned with henna. They might also have vast feasts with hundreds of guests, usually with the males in a separate room from the females. Other Muslims have simple celebratory parties with only close friends and relatives.

In some cultures there may be dancing, firing of guns, lots of noise and hilarity. Asian weddings often include pre-nuptial parties and gathering too - the whole process may last several days.